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How to Raise Great Kids & Leave a Legacy Through Your Children

Inspired by Inc.’s lead parenting columnist, Bill Murphy Jr.’s, collection of science-based parenting advice collected and shared.


As parents, one of our core desires for our children is for them to be happy.  As working parents, we recognize that one of the core tenants of our own happiness is the pursuit and achievement of success, however we have defined it for our careers, our families, and ourselves.  Naturally, we want to raise our children to succeed as adults, but we also want them to experience the emotional health that is supported by their encounters of success (and dare we say, failure) as children, teens and young adults.  If we invest our parenting capital in these five key areas, we can later reap the rewards of that investment in children who become successful and well-adjusted adults (and grown children who still want to come ‘home’ for the holidays).


One | Great Expectations

We all have expectations, and we all know the frustration that results when those expectations are not met (likely, because they were never communicated in the first place).  We also know the power of a boss who sets clear (and high expectations), revisits them often, and celebrates our fulfillment of those expectations.  Our children are no different.  The greater our expectations, when communicated clearly and supported intentionally, the greater our children will perform.  That performance will directly translate into confidence, and improved self-esteem.

Our expectations communicate to our children that we believe they are capable of doing hard things, that we hold them accountable, and that we want them to achieve their dreams.  Establish your expectations, communicate them clearly, re-visit and remind your children of them often, and affirm and celebrate their fulfillment of those expectations.

Two | The Power of Praise

People perform better when they receive praise routinely.  However, in order to support our children in taking risks, and pursuing academics and activities with persistence, the way we deliver that praise is imperative.  Otherwise, we may end up raising vapid egomaniacs, and the world is already full of those.

So, how should we deliver praise? First, know that there is no ideal ratio, but the more you praise your children, the better the results.  In other words, you cannot spoil a baby by holding them too much, and you cannot spoil a child by praising them too much.  Next, it is important that you praise their effort and specific application of skills or attributes, rather than their innate talents.  When you offer praise frequently and ‘correctly’ you avoid the adage of, “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard”.

Here’s an example.  Instead of telling your child, “Wow, you are so fast!” praise them instead by saying, “I am so impressed with the way you were determined to push your body to move your legs so quickly.  You didn’t give up!”

Three | Chores, Chores, Chores

According to the longest running longitudinal study in history, there are two key factors people need to possess to be both happy and successful: love and work ethic.  How, as parents can we instill those two traits in our children simultaneously? Chores.  When children participate in chores they learn the importance of work ethic, and they feel loved knowing that they have a purpose in their family life and knowing that they are contributing to that family life.

But, we have to include them.   And that means letting go of some of our own expectations along the way.  They have to learn, and the only way for them to learn is to practice.  Give them grace, and ample amounts of praise, and then learn to live with the missed crumbs –they will get it right, with time.

Four | Be There

In a Love and Logic world, it can be hard to remember that ultimately our children need us there, and they need us to be a safe and empathetic shoulder as much as they need us to walk them through the natural consequence they were just delivered.  When something happens to our children, whether they get hurt, make a mistake, or are confronted with failure, you can (and should) rush to their side.  In numerous studies, researchers found that adults who reflect on their childhood, had a much more positive perception of their parents when they were perceived as being there, rather than modeling self-reliance by maintaining their distance.

You can be there for your children, without ‘fixing’ the situation.  And this is the Love component of Love and Logic.  We don’t sit back when our child trips and falls; instead, we lovingly acknowledge their pain, “Ouch!  That looks like it hurts; I am so sorry that happened. What would make it feel better?” and we offer them Logic when the time is right, “Do you think your shoes being untied caused you to trip? What are your ideas for preventing another trip?”

Five | Champion their ‘Weirdness’ and their Social-Butterfly Aptitude

Children are laughably weird, and it doesn’t take more than a year or two of parenting to also realize, they come to us as they are —wonderfully and wildly unique— with their own interests and passions and eccentricities.  Rather than dejecting their affinity for dinosaur trivia, champion it and channel their interest into some real life connections, like paleontologists or a trip to a dinosaur museum.  Warren Buffet attributes his success to his eccentric tendency toward entrepreneurship as a child.  So embrace their quirkiness, and help to develop it so they can later leverage it for success and happiness.

While we’re discussing comments you may anticipate hearing at Parent Teacher Conferences, if your child is often discussed as being ‘too social’, help them to curtail it…to an extent, and know that children who are perceived as prosocial, later have a significant financial lead.  And if your child struggles socially, seek out opportunities and employ strategies to help improve their social skills and their future.


While there is no handbook for parenting, employing these 5 study-proven and scientifically supported practices will help you to raise children who are both well adjusted and successful.  And, at the end of the day, if “all you need is love”, and your children are loved and secure, you have already started a beautiful legacy.  We are so looking forward to the return on our investment, of a home filled with grown children during the holidays.

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Success Can Look Like a Number, Especially if it’s 6-Figures

As a community of women who have come together with the same common goal of enhancing our lives, we each have our own individual WHY that keeps us progressing forward toward that goal.  And, while we each have our own perspective of success that we aspire to achieve, we all agree that attaining six figures as mothers is nothing short of life changing.  As we come together to empower one another with real stories, real inspiration, and real resources, we find ourselves asking, how many women in the US have actually reached the ‘big exhale’ on the other side of earning six-figures? And, perhaps more importantly, how can we help more women experience that same success, stability, and sense of peace that comes with the ‘6-Figure Safety Net’ for themselves?

In a recent study conducted by SmartAsset, experienced financial writer and CEPF®

Ben Geier states, “Fewer than one in every eight female workers in the U.S. are six-figure earners”.  This means that throughout “the largest 100 U.S. cities, the average percentage of female workers who earn at least $100,000 is less than 12%”.  When considering the data, initially it may seem as though, as women, we’re making significant headway in achieving financial security and success, but with a closer look, it becomes obvious that we still have a long way to go in shattering those ever-elusive glass ceilings.  According to Kristin Myers, reporter for Yahoo Finance, in IRS reported figures for the tax year 2016, “of the 9% [of the population] earning at least $100,000 or more, more than twice as many men earn a six-figure salary than women”.

That should not sit well with us, particularly when we consider that leading non-profit organizations like Heifer International, know and practice what we already know intuitively as successful women and mothers: “when women have control over their assets and incomes, they reinvest in their families”.  That is wildly powerful.  The ‘6-Figure Safety Net’ is more than a number, and it is more than a goal we set for ourselves; achieving six-figures means modeling for our community and our children that financial security is a pathway to ending significant global issues like hunger and poverty.  And when empowered women, particularly mothers, have both financial and social capital, “Everyone eats more nutritious food. Kids go to school. Families get better access to health care” and, as further affirmed by UN Women, they begin to have “control over their own time, lives, and bodies; and increased voice, agency and meaningful participation in economic decision-making at all levels from the household to international institutions”

We have work to do: for ourselves, for women, for our children and for our communities.  Attaining a higher salary provides us with financial independence in the short term, but also allows us to pursue long-term financial goals and to make significant strides forward for humanity and equity.  On the heels of a particularly devastating year, it is more important than ever that we enable and empower women to chase after, and to achieve a six-figure salary.  Over “thirty-one percent of both millennials and Gen X-ers [don’t] believe they [will] ever achieve a six-figure salary”.  Let’s change that narrative starting within our own homes.

 

Goal Setting Goals Organization Personal Time

How to get the most out of your day & night!

Here’s 3 Tips to get the most out of your Day & Night:

1) Morning Routine:

Part of what makes us so productive during “normal life” (pre-quarantine), is that we have a schedule to keep. Now that we’re all commuting from our beds to the kitchen table… it’s easy to get to 5 o’clock and realize you never changed out of your PJ’s. (No judgement, I’ve been there)

Get up and shower, and get dressed for work. This puts you in the right mindset to get into “work mode” and be productive.

Also, a little “Me Time” in the morning goes a long way. What fills your “happiness tank” up? Do that first thing in the morning. Maybe it’s taking time to read, listen to music, or go for a walk. The point is, “put your oxygen mask on before assisting others”. A happier you is a more productive you.

2) Turn OFF the News!

We get it… there’s a virus going around. It needs to be taken seriously. Give yourself 15 min to get caught up on the developments of the day, at the end of the day. Very rarely is anything SO important that you can’t learn about it in the evening after the day is done. Too many people are glued to their television sets or social media… all. day. long. It’s just gonna raise your stress levels and make you overly emotional. News today is incentivized to be “click-baity” and sensationalize everything. Take precautions, wash your hands and take your daily vitamins!

3) Bedtime Routine:

Since there’s no boss to see you show up late, you might feel the urge to binge watch all 7 episodes of your new favorite series in one night… alarm clock be damned. Resist this temptation and keep a bedtime schedule to maintain your natural circadian rhythm (sleep/wake cycle). Study after study points to the physical and mental benefits of a balanced rhythm and 7+ hours of sleep a night. You’ll experience:

An Improved Mood

Improved Weight-Loss

Increased Energy

Improved Focus & Memory

Improved Exercise Performance

Reduced Inflammation

Improved Immune Health

Just to name a few. If you need help you can try a hot bath with a relaxing essential oil.

Goals happiness Personal

Self-Care is a necessity in setting goals not a luxury!

Year-in and year-out I see women around me throw themselves into their goals, only to exhaust themselves mentally and/or physically. Within weeks or months of setting their goals for the new year, they lose their passion and excitement and simply stop. What happened?

Simply put, they burn out. And then on top of their mental and physical fatigue, they feel like failures.

Read the full story here.

Dream Big Family Goals Work at Home

There are opportunities out there that let you have it all!

We are so excited to share the interview we had with Stacy Fiske recently. Stacy has been working with Moms Making Six Figures for a total of 11 years, two years part-time and the last nine years full-time. In the time she has spent working with the team, her “why” has shifted. Stacy took the time to share what life is like for her now and how Moms Making Six Figures has played such an intricate role in her journey!

Can you tell us a little bit about why you started working with Moms Making Six Figures?

When I very first started with Moms Making Six Figures, I was a single mom working in the corporate world and I felt like my daughter was being raised by her nanny. I was working so much and felt like I just needed to do something different. I really wanted a job where I could control my schedule and have flexibility. Fast forward to now, life looks very different. I am re-married; we blended our families and had a son together, for a grand total of five amazing kids. It’s crazy to reflect and think about where my life is and all I have been able to do by making this career switch. For example, having two of our kids in private school, being able to drop them off and pick them up each day, along with pay for the schooling itself.

When our youngest, Colin, was diagnosed with dyslexia, we didn’t have to worry for a second about how much it would cost to get him the help and tools he needs. We hired a specialized tutor, along with therapy and evaluations. With these evaluations, it requires me to take him out of school and be with him about 10 hours per week to get those services done. Again, I didn’t even have to think twice about doing this for him. I didn’t have to talk to my employer and find some flexibility in my schedule – I already have that freedom being my own boss with Moms Making Six Figures. I felt such a sense of gratitude knowing that I can do what I need to do for my son without a single worry about the financial and time obligations. My business didn’t suffer, either. The amazing team we work with jumped in to help me with anything I needed. In the corporate world, this would have been a huge hit for the business.

What were your first thoughts when you found out about your son’s special need?

When you find out your child has a special need, the first thing you want to do is take it away for them. I remember thinking “I wish I had a magic wand to wave, and he would not have to deal with this…”  But that is not life or reality, our kids must go through struggles. The second thought I had was “what resources can I provide to help him be as successful as he can be, despite this special need?”

My heart breaks for others who might not have the same opportunities I do when it comes to helping my son. I constantly think about all the mothers who do not have financial stability or job flexibility to lean on in this situation.

There is a ton of worry and stress that comes along with having a child with a special need. The situation is emotional enough — I could not imagine having got the news while worrying about the financial aspects or losing my job by needing extra time off. To be able to deal with the issue without those added stressors is a true gift.

Do you ever just sit back and reflect on how different your life is because of joining Moms Making Six Figures?

Oh, absolutely. When you think about taking the leap out of the corporate world, you question “am I giving something up to get this flexible schedule? Am I giving up the career I have built and the name I have established for myself?”  The answer is no, you’re not. And in time, you realize you’ve gained so much more than you could have ever lost in the first place. With Moms Making Six Figures, you’re gaining the ability to have a profession and a business of your own… All while having the resources and time to be the parent you want to be. Honestly, I don’t really know if I could have done both as successfully had I stayed in the corporate world. I remember the days I had no control over my schedule and there was so much demand on my time from my employer. They weren’t terribly understanding about family life, either. They didn’t really care if you have a sick kid or an emergency. They want you to be clocked in and present at work.

When I talk to people about my business, I see the self-doubt turning in their heads. The thoughts of “you did it, but could I?” Or, “Is this really a profession that could provide me the financial security I need in the long-term?” I wish I could just shout “YES!” from the rooftops. Here I am, nine years of full-time into the business, I have earned 1.8 million dollars over those nine years and have always prioritized my family. I can drop off and pick up my kids at school, take them to sports activities and so much more. These are the things I never thought were doable when I worked in the corporate world. I thought my kids would have to miss out on fun things, like sports, because how would I ever get them from point A to point B with such a rigorous schedule? Now, it’s my reality.

Sometimes, I think about what life would be like if I hadn’t started working with Moms Making Six Figures. My kids would have had to be a part of the after-school programs, have nanny’s or babysitter’s, and someone else would be driving them around. Someone else would be hearing about what went on at school that day. I wouldn’t have the chance to get to know their friends or volunteer in their classroom. It’s such a different view when you get to be the involved parent.

What is your best piece of advice for anyone questioning whether they should reach out and learn about Moms Making Six Figures?

My best piece of advice: what’s the worst that could happen? You get some information and find out it’s not a good fit. Now, what’s the best that could happen? What could your life look like 10 years from now? I made a small change. I wasn’t giving up myself, I was just changing my career. I started doing things a different way, was still able to produce a significant income and have a secure life. I think a lot of people have given up hope. We have been beaten down in life and told we can’t do it all. Something always has to give… I am here to tell you, there is no need to give up hope. There are opportunities out there that let you have it all. So, why not dig in and explore all your options? Why not try?

 

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My time truly belongs to me!

Meet Catherine!  She used to work Commercial Banking but decided to pursue a career with Moms Making Six Figures. Like many of us, Catherine was craving more freedom to travel with her family. Read on to learn more about her incredible story.

Can you give us a little of your background and family life? 

I grew up in San Diego, except for the four years I lived in France, starting when I was 18.  My mother immigrated to the United States from France when she was 24 years old and later married my Dad who is American, which gave me dual citizenship — American and French.  I studied International Business at San Diego State University and I participated in the double diploma program with a French Business school called ESSEC.  I ended up receiving a BA in International Business from San Diego State University and an International Business degree from ESSEC.  My husband, Sean, and I have two boys Connor (10), Mason (8) and a bichon poodle mix named Rocky.

I was recruited into Commercial Banking because of my sales background, business development skills and financial skills.  In this career is where I met Sean, who is also a Commercial Banker.  Prior to banking, I was an outside sales rep for a payroll company, and I started my career as a Financial Advisor with Merrill Lynch.

I really love France and I try to go when I can.  I was there in 2018 for two weeks and 2016 for 10 days. Before my trip in 2016, it had been nine years since I had traveled to France.  My husband and I were married in 2007, went to France and Italy for our honeymoon, and then had kids.

 What was it like living in France for those few years? How has that impacted your life?

When I lived and traveled in France and around Europe, it really opened my eyes. The experiences I had were amazing.  I grew so much and learned about many different cultures. I think experiencing other cultures allows us to be more open-minded flexible.  I gained a lot of confidence from traveling and living in foreign countries and I want the same for my kids. My burning desire is to live in France with Sean and our boys for six months before they go to high school.

Something unique about Sean is that he lived in Okinawa, Japan for three years while in high school because his Dad was a judge in the Marine Corps. (They moved all the time while he was growing up.)  Because of his experiences, Sean has the same appreciation for travel and culture that I do.  Some places we’ve been to already on our own or with the kids are Mexico, Fiji, Kauai, British Virgin Islands, France, Italy, and Indonesia.

How did you manage a career in commercial banking, traveling and raising a family? What were the sacrifices? 

It was difficult having a demanding career in Commercial Banking a raising a family. I constantly felt stressed, overwhelmed and feeling like I was not doing anything great.  My career made it tough to travel, as well.  Even though I had 3-4 weeks of vacation, I just felt guilty taking more than a week at a time.

I made a lot of sacrifices by working a Corporate job.  You are always on someone else’s clock, 100 emails a day, meetings and sometimes not being able to make important events in your personal life.  This year, I was not able to go on a family trip to Mammoth with Sean and our boys because of work pressure.  I can’t even begin to explain how upsetting it was for the entire family that I couldn’t be there…

What is your life like now that you are working with Moms Making Six Figures? 

My life is so much less stressful.  My time truly belongs to me.  Not only do I have more time to focus on my family, but feel I have a real opportunity to help people with their physical and financial wellness.  As I mentioned, my goal is to travel more frequently with the kids and Sean. I love that I can work from anywhere with Moms Making Six Figures. With this career, I can work around my kid’s schedule and still have time to travel with them.

While my banking career had its benefits, working with Moms Making Six Figures is so much more rewarding. I am so happy to be a part of this great team and love that I can help others achieve their dreams while I continue to work on mine.