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Your Emotional Intelligence Quotient is Key to Your Success Equation

Inspired by this week’s episode of the Moms Making Six Figures Podcast with Brenda Lee, Emotional Intelligence Expert, who believes in the power of identifying our perspective and pushing through our conditional gaps to tap into our mind’s subconscious.


Part of the human experience is suffering.  And sadly many of us have experienced that suffering at the hands of another person in our lives, whether it’s the negative comments made by our father-in-law brushed off as ‘just his personality’, a boss who always asks us to stay late making our work-life balance that much harder to attain, or a poorly timed “friendly reminder” from the HOA about the state of our lawn, all of this suffering is imposed by and met with an Emotional Intelligence Quotient (or in the case of suffering’s worst offenders, the lack thereof).  And while we all know the old adage rings uncomfortably true, that we can’t control others, only ourselves, by improving our own EI (Emotional Intelligence) we will change our own perceptions of, and approaches to suffering, and model, for the less emotionally intelligent, the common denominator in the happiness and success equation.


The theory of EI was brought to the forefront of American psychology by Daniel Goleman in the 1990s.  While the concept was widely accepted in the field of psychology, employers were reluctant to embrace EI in the workplace.  Now, however, research has found that emotional intelligence is not only foundational to achieving personal happiness and success, but that it is also the strongest predictor of workplace effectiveness.

Here are the five key components of Emotional Intelligence, how to improve your skill set in each, and how each component, when put into practice, can benefit your personal and professional life.

Self-awareness

Individuals who are self-aware can identify their emotions and the impact of those emotions on their thoughts and behavior; they know their strengths and weaknesses and have self-confidence.

  • Keep a journal— Journals help to improve your self-awareness. Spending just a few minutes each day recording your thoughts can begin to move you toward greater self-awareness.
  • + The pay-off: Your mental health. Uncontrolled and unaddressed emotions and stress can take a toll on your mental health.  Learning to understand, identify and get comfortable with your emotions in order to manage them will help you to improve both your relationship with yourself and others, thereby leaving you feeling less lonely and isolated.

Self-regulation

Individuals who are able to self-regulate can manage their emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments and adapt to changing circumstances; they can control impulsive feelings and behaviors.

  • Hold yourself accountable— Easier said than done, but if you have a tendency to blame shift, it’s time to take some ownership. Make a commitment to, and a habit of, admitting your mistakes, and accepting the consequences.  You will have more respect for yourself, and quickly earn the respect of those around you.
  • + The pay-off: When you understand your emotions and you are capable of controlling them, you’re better able to express how you feel and to understand how others are feeling. This improves your communication and will allow you to establish stronger relationships both at work and at home.

Motivation

Individuals who are self-motivated work consistently toward their goals and have extremely high standards for the quality of their work.

Empathy

Individuals who have a strong capacity for empathy understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of others; they pick up on emotional cues.

  • Pay attention to your body language— An often underrated, but hugely important facet of how others perceive us, perceiving them, is our body language. Learn to control your own body language to prove you are someone who is truly empathetic and open, and learn to read others’ body language to get an accurate read of how someone truly feels.
  • + The pay-off: By investing time and effort to really pay attention to others, you’ll actually gain insight into your own emotional state as well as your values and beliefs. When we pay attention to others, their needs, and their overall well-being, we foster safety and establish trust in our relationship.

Social Skills

Individuals who possess strong social skills can maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team and manage conflict; they recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.

  • Learn conflict resolution— No one likes conflict, but it is inevitable. Knowing how to manage conflict and to successfully resolve it is essential to honing your social skills and finding success in both your personal and professional endeavors.
  • + The pay-off: When you are in tune with your emotions you are better able to connect to other people and the world around you. Your emotional intelligence directly correlates to your social intelligence; the greater your social intelligence the more your stress will be reduced and the more balanced your nervous system will be through social communication leaving you feeling loved and happy.

While suffering is a part of the human experience, it doesn’t have to define it.  When we take the time to invest in our own emotional intelligence, we benefit not only our own happiness and success, but we also become a multiplier in the lives of those around us.  By taking ownership over our own progress at home and in the workplace, we can reduce our own suffering and the suffering experienced and imposed by others.  The work is worth putting in for the reward, as psychologist Travis Bradberry notes, when M.B.A. students received emotional intelligence training (not a usual part of the M.B.A. program), “even after graduating from the program [they] had raised their [emotional intelligence] scores 40 percent.  They had trained their brains.  Practice doesn’t make perfect, but practice make things habitual.”

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Manage Your Mind

Inspired by this week’s episode of the Moms Making Six Figures Podcast with Brooke Paulin who believes in the practice of managing your mind and the small daily habits that lead to great success over time.


 In a world where we are inundated with more information and more access to it than ever before, we are faced with new challenges like ‘consumer fatigue’, information overwhelm and digital burnout.  The media and social media industries are designed to be addictive in nature, releasing dopamine or cortisol dependent on the nature of the content, that keeps us coming back for more and ultimately conditions our behavior.  Information, and the way in which we access it is not the enemy, instead it is our passive consumption of that content that can wreak havoc, particularly when we are bombarded with negativity, click-bait headlines, and divisive rhetoric.  Just as we fuel our bodies and health with nutrition and exercise, we must manage our mind and the information we choose to fill it with.

With nearly 69% of adults and 81% of teens in the US using social media, it is time for us to become active participants in managing our minds, our mental states, and our mental health.  Here are a few small changes you can make to be better prepared and intentional with the information and inputs you choose.


Reality Check

We would never let our children sit for hours on end, absent-mindedly in front of screens and we shouldn’t allow it for ourselves either.  While it may not seem like you’re spending that much time on devices outside of necessity, your Weekly Activity Report likely shows something different.

Start by taking an inventory of the current time you spend consuming content intentionally vs. out of habit or boredom.  Once you have begun to inventory your passive or active consumption tendencies, track for a day (or longer) every piece of information you digest with a “+” if it is beneficial to your personal life, work life, or overall well being, a ”–“ if it negatively impacted or took away from your personal life, work life, or overall well being, and an “=” for no impact other than time lost.

Seeing our habits in black and white allows us to see where our own struggles actually exist.  It takes five positive interactions to offset each negative interaction; is it any wonder we are more anxious, depressed, and lonely than ever before?

Schedule (and plan) Your Screen time

Self-monitoring and scheduling your consumption habits can change not only your perception of the information you digest, but also, your behaviors.  In 2018 the University of Pennsylvania conducted a study that observed the behaviors of 143 undergraduates.  One group was asked to limit all social media activity to only 10 minutes per platform, per day, while the second was allowed to use their social media as usual for three weeks.   The group that limited their scrolling “showed significant reductions in loneliness and depression during those three weeks over the group that continued using social media.”

As Brooke pointed out in this week’s podcast, “I don’t think that some of the top CEO’s, and, you know, multi-million dollar female business owners … I don’t think that they’re scrolling through social media that’s not feeding their mind. There’s no room for that.”  What would you be able to accomplish in a week of limiting your scrolling habits?

Empty the Junk Folder

Once you’ve taken inventory of the information and input you’re allowing in, and you’ve refined your mindless scrolling by replacing it with intentionally scheduled time for content consumption, get rid of anything that isn’t serving you, your mental health, your professional life, or your personal life.

Once you’ve emptied the Junk Folder, take note from some of the most successful people and follow suit by replacing what wasn’t serving you with content that does.  According to research, what makes highly successful people less stressed, happier, and more productive is scheduling their personal priorities before tending to other people’s priorities.  That goes for what you’re consuming too.  Instead of starting your day by checking email, dedicate an hour of your morning hour to be your Power Hour where you replenish your motivation with podcasts, books and curated content that supports your goals, challenges you, and leaves you feeling ready to tackle the day.  Ask your mentors what they listen to, what they read, and who they follow on social media to begin refining your palate.


In order to be successful in managing our mind, our mental state and our mental health, we must be intentional about what we consume and prepare our daily activity and schedules with discernment.  Just as nutrition is fundamental to achieving our health and wellness goals, so is the information we consume.  We avoid pitfalls of hunger by meal planning and preparation, and we can avoid the pitfalls of media and social media by planning and being thoughtful consumers.

“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” –Alexander Graham Bell

happiness problem-solving Success Uncategorized

Success is a process.

Success does not happen overnight. Despite what we all see on Facebook, Instagram and every other social media app you can think of, virtually none of the messages shared in those posts tells the whole story.

In fact, oftentimes I think we are all just selling each other lies, even though it’s often unintentional.

For example, the post of my two smiling daughters hugging and my caption about what a wonderful day we had spending time together, while true, completely whitewashes the days when I cannot convince those two little…darlings to get in the car without fighting over who is riding “shotgun.”

And with regard to travel, doesn’t it sometimes seem like everyone (except us) is going on these wildly romantic or adventurous vacations, painting the picture that their lives are perfect?

When I find myself going down this mental path, I’m usually quick to stop and remind myself that that post or photo is just a snapshot in time, and that I’m not seeing the whole, real story.

In the context of business, the same adage holds true; what you see in that post or article about someone’s recent success only captures a small part of the picture. I liken it to the iceberg metaphor; the success or breakthrough that captivates our attention is the tip, and all the blood, sweat and tears poured out over years of grinding it out is below the surface, hidden from view.

Make no mistake, however, it’s all there below the surface and consciously acknowledging that fact when we see such a post helps us to truly appreciate all that went into that person’s story of success, not just the climax.

At this year’s Oscar awards, actor Brad Pitt shared with everyone that he recognized his success did not happen overnight and that his success was in part due to those around him.

During his acceptance speech, Pitt shared how several people significantly impacted his professional life and helped him to become the successful actor he is today. Regarding close friend and fellow actor, Leonardo DiCaprio, Pitt stated: “Leo, I’ll ride on your coattails any day, man.”

With this one statement, Pitt acknowledged that some of the skills he has developed over the years were learned from observing fellow actors and incorporating aspects of their craft into his own “repertoire.”

I appreciated what Pitt said because it supported the truth that success is the result of building a solid foundation, working hard and developing relationships. This statement is true for any career path and in any industry.

In my business, seeking out people who support and encourage me to grow has been instrumental to my success. In turn, when I support and help others to grow, not only do they succeed, but my success is increased ten times over.

Guess what? This process takes A LOT of time. So, when you see a post of mine celebrating a success, please know that it was months – and possibly years – in the making.

I don’t use Facebook and Instagram or other forms of social media in search of likes, loves or influencer status. My purpose is to convey that MomsMakingSixFigures is a platform with which hundreds have had real success and that same success is available to you, too. I invite you to come grab ahold of our coattails and see where you can go.

Moms Making Six Figures supports, educates and mentors other women entrepreneurs as they walk their path to success. For more information about Moms Making Six Figures visit www.momsmakingsixfigures.com.

https://www.delmartimes.net/sponsored-columnists/moms-making-six-figures/story/2020-03-10/success-is-a-process

Children Family joy problem-solving

Be bold: don’t wait, just do it or someone else will!

Meet Michelle! She left the corporate world to be a stay-at-home mom to her adorable twin boys. However, she was looking for a way to not only contribute financially in her family, but also make a difference in other peoples’ lives. By partnering with Moms Making Six Figures, she has been able to do both of those things, and more! Read on to learn more about Michelle’s story.  

What was life like before Moms Making Six Figures?

Life before Moms Making Six Figures was good! I was home, raising my twin boys who were born in 2012, and just enjoying life with my family. I was happy to not be working in the corporate world anymore. Prior to having my twins, I worked in pharmaceutical research. I was working long hours, both during the week and on the weekend. I kind of felt like a workaholic. So, when they were born, I was very blessed to be able to resign from my corporate career of 16 years. I said goodbye to that job easily. It was a great job, but it didn’t really fulfill me. I never really felt like I was helping people, and honestly, that’s what I had wanted to do in my life.

So, I was raising my boys. As time went on and the boys got older, finances got tighter, and I really felt like I needed to contribute to the family. (Especially living in California!) I just didn’t know what, and I definitely wasn’t going back to a corporate career, working 60-hour weeks. I had always been a worker-bee and something inside me knew that I wanted something for myself, as well. I needed some kind of goal, or something to achieve, but also contribute to our family.

Why did you decide to partner with Moms Making Six Figures?

I was introduced to MMSF through Paula Gartin, Kellee Wip and Stacy Fiske, who were my neighbors. Paula lived on my street at the time, but I didn’t really know her that well. However, I really liked her. She had always been so sweet and invited me to various events she had at her house. The twins were in a part-time preschool at the time, so I was finally getting some time to myself.  As much as I loved being home with them, a little time for myself was absolutely needed. It was around that time that I started to pray for the right opportunity to come along. Then I went to Paula’s one night to hear about what she was doing and MMSF literally fell in my lap. It was like, “yes, this is what I want!” I want a team, I want to work part-time, I want to be able to do it around the family, and I want to help people.

I had seen a lot of other work-at home jobs, but none seemed right. In my 20’s I had actually tried to sell cosmetics from a well-known, large company. A close friend of mine was selling it and doing well. She encouraged me to start selling and to buy a large starter kit. I spent $4000 on the largest starter kit of make-up! Looking back, I can’t believe I did that. I even went to the company’s convention! I did have some cosmetics parties, but in the end, the make-up just sat in my parents’ garage for years after that. I lost so much of money, I didn’t even want to look at the products sitting there. It made my stomach turn to see how much money was wasted.

The partners at MMSF are amazing women who support, encourage and care for each other. I know I can ask for help and someone will be there. They just want the same in life as any other mom. They want healthy, happy families and homes, along with the gift of time. They want to use their time to be with their loved ones, pick up their kids from school, be at their kids’ games and be present in their families’ lives. 

What were your skepticism’s? How did you overcome them?

All my skepticism’s, concerns and fears have been about me and building my business: can I do this, can I reach those goals, will I succeed? There are times I felt I didn’t have what it takes to do well, to be consistent and have the confidence to make it work. We aren’t each other’s boss, so it’s really about being accountable to yourself while putting in the work. Whenever I start to question myself and ‘get in my head’, I call one of the partners at Moms. They help me through it and they help me see this is all part of the journey. Everyone has these same fears and questions at some point.

These four phrases help me overcome my skepticisms and fears:

-Persevere: Don’t quit, move on from disappointment. ‘Bless and release.’

-Be engaged: enjoy time with friends and business partners. Get out and celebrate the achievements and be around the women who know what you’re going through – talk to them and be vulnerable. Listen and laugh.

-This is a gift: What we have is a gift and don’t be afraid to share.

I didn’t just pull the four phrases above from out of nowhere. It’s all from the training with Moms Making Six Figures. Calling it great training doesn’t even come close to the level we receive, it’s phenomenal. I wouldn’t be where I am in my business without the women of Moms guiding, supporting and encouraging me all the way. Being around this group of women has really changed me for the better. It’s helped with my confidence, it’s helped me to have a thicker skin, and it’s helped me grow in character. Building my business was way out of my comfort zone, but now I know I can do it. And I won’t have to do it alone.

Family Finance problem-solving

Steps in the right direction…

This week we talked with Angie Wright. Her story is one a lot of moms can relate to as they weed through various “work-from-home” careers out there. Angie found herself in serious debt after investing her precious time, energy and money into a business that drained her on all fronts. Understandably, she was skeptical to learn about Moms Making Six Figures. Would it be different than her past experiences? Read on to learn more about her journey!

Can you give us a little bit of your background? What were you doing before Moms Making Six Figures?

Of course! I was born and raised in Oceanside California. I went to Vanguard University in Costa Mesa and studied Intercultural and urban studies. When I graduated in 2000, I was a youth pastor for 3 years in the Los Angeles area. I loved working with youth and when I moved back to Oceanside in 2003, I started working with teenagers in group homes. My heart and passion still lie with helping at-risk youth. I eventually became the Director of a crisis program for teens through the YMCA, but in 2014 the program lost funding and I was let go. 

After all of that happened, I decided to stay home with my kids. I have a 10-year-old son named James, an 8-year-old daughter, Janise, and then our two-year-old son, Jasiah. I loved being at home with my kids, but I knew I still needed an income. I tried anything and everything to be a stay at home mom and contribute financially.

What were the types of jobs you did to maintain your lifestyle as a stay-at-home mom? 

Initially, I helped run a daycare with my mom in her home for about a year. After that, I dabbled in some direct sale companies. I sold juices, jewelry, and the biggest one was LuLaRoe, which I worked with for about two and a half years. The initial investment was a very hefty $5,000 for the clothing and roughly another $3,000-$5,000 for all the equipment needed. I enjoyed my time with LuLaRoe because I loved helping women feel beautiful and I love the clothes myself, but it was a very hard business to be in. I spent countless hours advertising on Facebook, ordering more inventory and getting severely into debt. Not to mention, working events where I had to literally haul 300-500 pieces of clothes back and forth from my home.

I realized I was spending so much money and time away from my family that the business just was not worth it anymore. So, I left.

What did you do with your left-over inventory? Were you able to sell it before you stopped working with LuLaRoe? 

I had the option of returning inventory, but below wholesale because I would have had to pay a restocking fee. The process was so arduous, instead I decided to discount my remaining inventory to other retailers and my current customers. I definitely did not make my money back because I had to discount it way below wholesale to sell it all. 

One of the hardest parts about selling LuLaRoe is that we were not able to pick the patterns of the clothes. We could pick the style and the size, but they would send us whatever print they had. To tell you the truth, there were some prints that no one wanted to buy, and retail consultants would end up getting stuck with them!

So, tell me a little about how this journey led you to Moms Making Six Figures? 

In January of 2018, my friend, Jennifer Becker contacted me and wanted to share more about her business. I knew if anything, we would be good source of referrals for one another.  We had become friends when our daughters started kindergarten together in 2016.  I knew she did some sort of work-from-home business because she had a table set up at a fundraiser at the school. Unfortunately, I was too busy setting up my 300-piece display and did not have time to go check it out.  So, I told her that I would be open to hearing more.  Little did she know I was struggling financially and having regrets for starting a LuLaRoe business.  

Jennifer came over to my house, we sat at my kitchen table and she shared with me what Mom’s Making Six Figures was all about.  By the end I was literally in tears because for some reason I saw a hope and a future in her presentation I hadn’t experienced with any other company.  More than that, Jennifer was so genuine. I believed she would be a supportive friend and business partner, which is something I never had before.  

How have you found Moms Making Six Figures to be different from your career with LuLaRoe?

At first, I’ll admit I was a little skeptical to jump on board based off my previous experiences. In the past, I had become “star struck” with other business presentations and none of them had worked. They all left me broke, in debt and hopeless. However, I decided to give it a try to see if there really was NO startup cost or fees. If what Jennifer had said was true, I thought, what’s the risk? 

Jennifer helped me get my business rolling by mentoring me, helping me educate others and so much more. I was amazed that I truly did not have to spend any money to become successful in this business. Month after month, I have received a paycheck without having to sell any products, carry inventory, or invest any money in supplies.  I haven’t had to lug 100+ pieces of clothing to fairs and vendor events or bombard my Facebook friends with posts about buying my products.  My work now revolves around the relationships I build and sharing my experience with others.  

I am so grateful to Jennifer for introducing me to Moms Making Six Figures and for the continuous support she offers.  On top of that, we have an entire team of supportive women I can turn to for anything at any time.  Because of my new career with Moms Making Six Figures, I will have the financial freedom to support my family and give back. 

I will once again have the time to use experience in social services and as a youth pastor to help those in need.  I have always dreamt of opening a center for at-risk youth since beginning my work with teens back in 2000. I am confident Moms Making Six Figures will help me realized this dream!

Career Freedom Personal problem-solving

Finding your right career path!

Meet Lauren! She went from a corporate career to many different Multi-Level Marketing businesses in search of something with the flexibility and income she needed. Lauren knew there had to be a career option that would allow her the freedom to be the mom and career women she wanted to be. Through many trials and tribulations, she finally came across Moms Making Six Figures…  Read on to see how her story unfolds!

What were you doing before you found Moms Making Six Figures? And how did you find Moms Making Six Figures?

I was a Human Resources Coordinator for a property management firm before I found Moms Making Six Figures. When I had my son three years ago, I had to get up at 4:30AM to get him to childcare, so I could start my 54-mile commute to work and be on time. It was a logistical nightmare. Plus, I never saw my son. My Mom and Mother-in-Law were practically raising him because my husband’s job takes him away from home quite a bit. (Not to mention, he is in school getting his PhD for NP.) I just could not justify my old career anymore. I was miserable with the way things were. So, I started looking for another option, but failed to find anything that was a legitimate way to earn a solid income from home. I tried several multi-level marketing (MLM) businesses, but they all required large start up fees, inventory requirements, or minimum sales quotas that had to be met every month just to get paid. None of them offered stability because they were for products that did not really provide a good customer retention base.

I was frustrated, to say the least, and began wondering if I should just go back to work. Then, I met Dana Wikoff, a mentor for Moms Making Six Figures, on a Facebook group for moms. Dana gave me some background on what she did and after answering more of my questions, we built a relationship from there! Within a few weeks, I joined the Moms Making Six Figures team and haven’t looked back!

What is different about Moms Making Six Figures in comparison to previous work from home experiences you have had?

Where do I start? With my previous home/MLM jobs, there was a lot of enthusiasm to get you started with working and selling, but the excitement quickly wore off. I was left with little support when I had questions, technical difficulties, or simply needed help fielding a customer’s question. The support I have received at Moms Making Six Figures has been phenomenal. The spirit of community among the women here is amazing! There a ton of resources right at our fingertips, along with an encouraging mentor to answer questions and help solve problems when they arise. I feel completely supported. With the help of this team, I know I can handle anything that comes my way.

Another thing that truly stands out about Moms Making Six Figures is that there is no ridiculous “kit” or start up fees involved. You can make a solid, legitimate income without pouring money into stocking inventory and paying for personal websites to be maintained. Before joining Moms Making Six Figures, every work from home job I attempted was disheartening and left me barely breaking even after all the expenses involved. It was completely contradictory to my goal of making a solid income while still being home to take care of my family. The opportunity to grow and make a substantial income without all the muss and fuss with Moms Making Six Figures is exponential. Plus, there is zero risk. There is no concern about getting hurt financially or worrying about recouping money spent just to earn a paycheck.

How has the support at Moms Making Six Figures been different than your past experiences?

The support from the Moms Making Six Figures team is solid. There is a real community here. This is more than just a career switch… it is a lifestyle change. Through this experience I have met some of the brightest, most passionate and driven ladies. I have made friends, been cheered on, congratulated and celebrated for the smallest of victories. I strongly believe that my teammates have helped me squash a lot of my fears and conquer my goals. I have learned so much by joining the Moms Making Six Figures team. Some of what I have learned has helped me grow my business to where it is today, and some of it has helped me grow as a person. Personal development largely contributes to growing a successful business; and it is highly encouraged and fostered in this team. I could not be happier with my join Moms Making Six Figures. I am so excited about the direction of my life and business is headed! Take a chance on yourselves ladies! You are worth it, and if I can do it, you can do it.