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Dream Jobs | Do They Really Exist?

Recently when discussing some frustrations surrounding a work place indiscretion and how it was handled (or more aptly how it was not handled) by the powers-that-be, my friend and colleague remarked, “I don’t go to work to have my needs met.”  Cue my existential crisis in response.

As I’ve continued to replay the conversation, I realize that now I could care less about the indiscretion or its lack of “public relations finessing”, instead I’m left in a mixed state of cognitive dissonance facing both the impending doom of the unknown and the refreshing optimism surrounding my career path. In one well-timed quip, my entire approach to my career progression, my work history and education, and my identity were called into question: who am I if the title I chased and achieved isn’t a cornerstone to my significance? As it turns out, on the heels of the pandemic, many of us are grappling with the same question: does a dream job actually exist?  And, if it doesn’t can we free ourselves by working to live rather than living to work, and stop relying on our work to meet our soul’s needs?


According to psychologists at Stanford University and Yale-NUS College, there is a reason so many of us are shaken when we recognize that the ‘dream job’ is just as fleeting, and just as much of a well constructed rhetorical gimmick as the ‘American Dream’.   We are thrown into the depths of existential despair in large part due to the years of planning, financial investment, and time spent (all, now perceived as lost) because we have hung our soul’s hopes and dreams on the ‘fixed’ hook of our dream career.  Instead, the report’s findings espouse a ‘growth’ mentality as the key to fulfillment; this mentality, combined with our resilience, allows us to adapt to an ever-changing work force and to “think innovatively about [our] industry.” When we become “overly narrow and committed to one area, that could prevent [us] from developing interests and expertise that [we] need” to bring different fields together.

But, the silver linings in abandoning the notion of “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” (you’ll also never have healthy boundaries, or an identity beyond your work either) abound.

Instead of holding a dream that centers upon our labor for someone else’s financial gain, we should be shaping our dream life, and pursuing a job that is the right fit for our current needs in that pursuit.  In short, our job should support and fund our dream life, instead of our ‘dream job’ becoming the origination and determinant of every aspect of our life beyond the boardroom.

When we can let our idealized perceptions of ‘the one’ go, we begin to recognize that finding fulfillment beyond our career, allows us to pursue benefits we may have never thought to consider —like working remotely, a flexible schedule, a better salary, an easier commute— the list is only limited by our own ‘need’ to have a job be paramount.  If we can view ourselves, and our contribution to the world as separate from our work, we can invest our passion in our soul’s desire and let work, be well, work.

Rather than shape our life around accommodating our dream job, what would happen if we turned the tables, and instead pursued a job that allowed us to attain our dream life?  Take note from the Career Contessa, and pursue your next step in your career like you would any other physiological need in your life (e.g. a house hunt): make a list of your negotiables, non-negotiables, and everything in between.  Address your wants, and needs, and determine your required and ideal salary (do your research!); consider the day-to-day of your job and what constitutes a must-have versus a nice-to-have.  And finally, begin making your list of ideal companies and industries that feel like the right fit for your life’s dream.


Our fulfillment of our soul’s desire and our significance in the world are not reliant on our job title.  When we pursue fulfillment beyond our work, when we work to live rather than live to work, we can grow professionally, and personally toward our life’s dream.  There is freedom in knowing we are in the driver’s seat, and that we can decide to change directions at any point.  Our colleagues may be talking about us around the water cooler one day, for our audacious pursuit of happiness beyond our ‘dream job’.

Freedom Goals Personal

Taking Responsibility For Your Life = Freedom

“If you own this story, you get to write the ending.” – Brené Brown

Do you ever feel like your life is getting away from you?

We often get caught up in the routine of life, and as moms, we’re pulled in so many different directions—a demanding job, the kids, your spouse, extended family and friends—there’s a lot going on. We go through the motions and get comfortable in the passenger’s seat, feeling like there must be more and complaining all the while. But we never really make the effort to take control of the vessel that is our lives. When something goes wrong, we’re quick to blame outside forces, seldom taking responsibility for our part in it.

Does this sound like you?

Guess what? The reality is, many of your own life decisions got you here! But what would happen if you did take responsibility? Not just when things are going well but when things are going terribly wrong. Sounds scary, doesn’t it? But if you really think about it, there’s freedom in that. Essentially, it means you are in control, and you can steer your life in the direction you want to go.

We all want freedom, and although you can’t run away from your responsibilities (at least not forever), taking ownership of your life, your decisions, and your situation can steer you towards that freedom.

What is Personal Responsibility?

“Response-ability.” Your ability to maturely react to the many difficulties and conditions of life. This means that you have the ability to stop being the victim, and instead become the purposeful creator of the life you want. Here’s how.

1. Identify Your Priorities

How will you know where to steer your life if you have no vision for where you’re going? That’s why it’s important to set goals—for 1 year from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now. But first, figure out what your priorities are—after all, the goals that you set for yourself should reflect the things that matter most to you.

Start by asking yourself: “What matters in my life?”

There is no right or wrong answer to this question. As a mom, number one on your list is your children and your family. So start there, then add 9 others things that matter most to you right now. Some of the chart-toppers for me are:
Family
Health
Friendships
Business
Self-care

Looking at your list, are you prioritizing the right things in your daily life? The mere fact that you can feel something is off with your life right now means that your actions aren’t aligning with your true priorities.

2. Change Your Mindset

It’s time to grab some war paint, put it on your face, and adopt a can-do attitude. Even though changing your lifestyle and habits might be difficult, it’s possible. Remember, you’re a strong, successful mom! If there’s anyone who can do it, you can. All you need is the right attitude.

Many of us let worry and negative thinking guide our actions and behaviors far too often. Instead, try to focus on gratitude. Think of your priority list: what are you grateful for related to each of the 10 priorities on your list? Write your gratitudes down and convert them into a daily affirmation that you can read to yourself as a reminder of what’s most important to you.

Emphasizing gratitude has the amazing effect of shifting your mindset to more positive thinking. And just getting rid of the negative thoughts, the what-ifs, and the doubts will do wonders to help attract your ideal reality to you.

3. Create a Vision Board

Visualization is a powerful thing. The key to creating a vision board is to focus on how you want to feel. Of course, including material things on your board won’t hurt (wanting material things is not a bad thing), but focusing on how you want to feel 5 to 10 years from now gives you a better chance of actually bringing it to life.

Your vision board might include pictures of:
A happy work-at-home-mom, playing with the kids
Inspirational quotes
Symbols of professional success (Corner office? Speaking podium? Satisfied clients?)
A family doing something fun
International travel (I have Australia on my board!)
Day-spas (signifying relaxation time)
Other images that invoke memories of times that made you feel good

Remember, there are no rules. Your vision board may look completely different than someone else’s, but that doesn’t mean you’ve done it wrong. As long as it tells your story in a way that inspires you, that’s all that matters!

4. Take Action and Make it Happen

When you begin this journey of taking personal responsibility for your life, you may not know exactly what you’re doing, and that’s okay. Take it one step at a time. Set big goals and then break them down into smaller milestones, starting small.

Let’s take an example of a corporate woman who wants to achieve a certain lifestyle for her family. She wants freedom—freedom to do what she wants, when she wants, and not be controlled by the status quo, a boss, or financial obligations. After discovering that a non-traditional career with unlimited income possibilities will enable her to achieve that, she makes working from home her big goal. In order to work towards it, she sets the smaller goal of devoting one hour each day to research how to successfully work from home.

You’ll soon find that achieving smaller daily goals will motivate you to keep going and will set you on the course to establishing new, healthier routines that steer you towards freedom.

And the beauty of it all is that you set the course!

We at Moms Making Six Figures want to help you take personal responsibility for your life. We’re here to support you as you take charge, set your own course, and steer your own ship towards freedom. Visit our website www.momsmakingsixfigures.com or contact us at (858) 837-1505, and together we can help you live life on your own terms.

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Moms Celebrate Back-To-School Bliss

blog3Back-to-School Bliss

I don’t know who coined the phrase “lazy summer days”, but I’d like to meet that person and ask how it’s done. Then lock him in a room with my mischievous munchkin from June to August and see just how lazy he feels.

For a parent, there’s hardly anything lazy about summertime. It’s 70 days of extended, noisy car rides; hauling suitcases packed with gear; getting to and from sports practices, dance recitals, music lessons, camps or all of the above; bedtime struggles when the term “school night” no longer applies; weary, worried eyes tracking constant activity; and scorching afternoons standing in line at overpriced, overcrowded amusement parks.

So when I overheard a mom ask if anyone would like to join her for a margarita at 8 in the morning just after dropping off her kids to their first day of school, I did not judge. In fact, I would have happily joined her. And I found myself staring down those who gave her sideways, disapproving glances.

After all, it’s hard keeping the kiddos entertained while juggling household and work responsibilities. And even more difficult maintaining sanity after hearing, “What are we going to do today, Mom?” every morning ad nauseam.

Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty when your fussy pants tots finally strap on their backpacks, and you delight in that beautiful bell announcing it’s time for class. A sound that once commenced six hours of academic lockup now signals freedom.

In fact, I don’t mind scrambling to assemble healthy school lunches that, despite my best efforts, my son will likely attempt to trade for sugary snacks. Or fighting supermarket crowds to purchase paper, pencils and other classroom paraphernalia. Or taking an extra two to six hours trying to relearn quadratic equations so my son can turn in his second grade homework (what the heck happened to counting on fingers?).

All this heralds a daily break from parental duties. And, as much as I love my kid, I need a little time to myself to recharge and regain composure after bombardment from almost constant kiddie drama.

Of course, I’ll no doubt fill my newfound freedom running errands, squeezing in extra office hours and cleaning disheveled spaces without a “Mom, can you get me…” or “I’m bored” or “Brandon keeps poking me”. But perhaps this year, I’ll take some time to read a good book, indulge in a new hobby or maybe just get that margarita and see what this whole “lazy days” thing is all about.

Happy Thoughts

Here’s a mom who knows how to celebrate the end of summer: Mommy Happy Dance. What are ways you’ve indulged in some mommy time during the school year?