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With Spring Showers Comes the ‘She-Cession’: Keeping the Plates of Working Motherhood Spinning in the Midst of a Pandemic

Inspired by Maria Shriver’s investigative report for 3rd Hour Today, The State of Women: She-Cession.

The month of March typically fills our calendars with the return of spring weather, spring-cleaning, spring training and spring break, but this year, March also marks one year since the World Health Organization declared the coronavirus pandemic.  While we typically welcome the renewal and recharging that comes with spring, this year, many of us are instead reflecting on the insurmountable challenges and changes presented by the last year, and by the pandemic.  One of these challenges and changes has even coined a new name –the ‘She-cession’—plaguing American women, mothers, and caregivers and costing the United States an estimated “64.5 billion a year in lost wages and related economic activity” according to the Center for American Progress (CAP).  As we prepare spring break plans, however different they may look, we continue spinning our countless caregiving and career plates but to what end?  The pandemic’s effects are taking both economic and personal tolls, and they are hitting women the hardest.

In a recent report conducted by the CAP, findings show that women have lost a net of 5.4 million jobs as a result of the pandemic-induced recession, nearly 1 million more jobs than their male counterparts, and Black and Latina women have experienced a 50% higher unemployment rate than the national average according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.  While women are experiencing the benefits of workforce trends that have emerged in the last year like working remotely, they continue to shoulder the majority of domestic duties.  In fact, working moms are 1.5 times more likely to report an additional 3 hours a day on domestic ‘chores’ like supervising their children’s remote learning –practically another part-time job, and an unpaid one at that. As a result, the most recent Women in the Workplace report found that for the first time, 1 in 4 women are considering stepping out of the workforce or downshifting their careers.  The outcomes of the ‘She-cession’ are nothing short of disastrous—jeopardizing huge strides made toward gender equity in the workplace, lifelong effects on skills and earnings potential, and a significant impact on women’s mental and emotional health.

So what do we do? How do we solve problems as great as women living in their cars to afford care for their aging parents after losing their job? How do we pay the estimated $1 trillion bill of unpaid labor performed by women in the home? Girls Who Code CEO Reshma Saujani is proposing a “Marshall Plan for Moms” that would ask Congress and the White House to support working mothers by implementing multiple policies that would address problematic parental leave plans, stabilize the child care industry and pay $2400 monthly to mothers to for their unpaid labor.  Issues like these, according to Saujani, who has garnered the attention and support of many working moms including celebrities, are forcing the hand of working women and mothers, “We aren’t choosing to leave the workforce, we’re being pushed out”.  There is hope.  The Biden administration is already reviewing the “Marshall Plan for Moms” and has already backed several of its initiatives such as family leave and subsidized childcare.

As working mothers, we embody empathy, compassion, interpersonal skills and the ingenuity required to care for, teach, and respond to the ever-growing needs of our children and our families.  Let’s come together and take action to utilize these talents and advocate for ourselves, our families, our world and our place in the workforce.

Find valuable resources, support, and action steps toward advocacy at the California Work and Family Coalition.

Work-Life Balance Working Mom

Make sure your children know they are loved by you!

Meet Jennifer!

She is not only one of our mentors at Mom’s Making Six Figures, but first and foremost, a dedicated mom to her two beautiful daughters. We asked Jennifer if she would be willing to share some advice as a successful working mom. Because whether you are a new mom, or a seasoned-pro, work and home-life balance is something that we are all in search for.

What is one thing you wish you would have known before you had your first daughter?

I have always enjoyed working and having a career. I envisioned myself as a “working mom” because my mom worked my whole childhood as did her mother with her. I had no idea how completely in love I would be with motherhood, I hated missing anything new. I wish I would have thought more about a career path that would have allowed me more flexibility in my schedule. I was always so envious of my friends that were teachers and had the entire summer off with their children.

What are the most important things you are currently teaching your girls?

Currently I am focus on teaching my daughters respect, simple things like helping someone reach something off the shelf at a grocery store, always greeting someone with a hello, please and thank you is a must! I want them to be self-sufficient, they help with things like laundry, cooking and cleaning. We set goals as a family and break down what it takes to achieve them.

One piece of advice to give to other working moms?

Do the best you can with what you have. Don’t compare yourself to other moms. Be present with your children when you are with them. They want your attention more than the latest trending toy. One on one time with each children is important. Most importantly, make sure your children know they are loved by you.

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Work at Home Work-Life Balance Working Mom

Working From Home: 10 Tips For Success

When I started a small part-time business 2 ½ years ago, I had no idea that it would grow to the full-time business is it today, allowing me to walk away from a corporate career I spent 15 years building! When I tell people I work from home and have replaced a corporate salary within 2 years, I usually get one of two responses – “I don’t know how you get anything done,” or “I wish could do that.”

I feel that many of my friends who are also moms like me think the flexibility of working from home sounds amazing, but they aren’t sure they have what it takes to be productive. I’ll admit that you can become easily distracted, but here are 10 tips I’ve learned along the way.

1. Establish a Schedule

I know for many moms this can seem difficult (especially if you have young children), but it’s a critical element to successfully working from home.

If you do not have a schedule and do not set your intentions for the day, you will waste more time trying to figure out what work to do versus actually getting work done. It doesn’t have to be an hour by hour schedule, but something that becomes routine.

For example, I like to use Mondays as my office day to make calls, send follow-up emails, write my social media posts for the week, and set appointments with current and potential clients – anything office related. Tuesdays through Thursdays, I usually schedule an hour of office/desk time but spend the majority of those days on appointments and networking with others. I like Fridays to be my day to tie up loose ends and tackle all of the tasks that I necessarily pushed off. I have a daily list – I know I have had a productive day when I see all the things crossed off of my list. Even if you only work 2 or 3 hours per day on whatever it is you do from home, it is important to have that time blocked off and know what you intend to accomplish during those hours.

You can accomplish a lot in 1 hour if it’s a focused, distraction-free hour; if you try to squeeze in 5-10 minutes here and there, you’ll likely find yourself stuck in the same spot for weeks.

2. Establish Boundaries

I truly believe this is where most moms struggle. I have a designated work-space in my home. When I am in my work-space during my work hours, I do not spend any of that time answering personal emails or personal calls (unless it’s my kids’ school or my husband, which are really the only exceptions). My kids are now 4 and 7, so we had a conversation in terms they understand; if Mommy is at her desk on the phone, it is not the time to interrupt. And I’m realistic when I’m planning my work schedule, so when my kids are home (day off of school or in the summer), I typically don’t spend more than an hour at a time at my desk. Instead, I’ll break up my work day explaining “it’s Mommy’s hour to work” and give them 2-3 choices of things they can pick to do during that hour. You may or may not agree with this method, but I believe children need to learn to entertain themselves for short periods of time (i.e. it helps them practice self-discipline). I have even caught them playing “office,” mimicking me making my calls, etc. On the flip-side, my kids know they will have my full attention during play-time.

By setting the boundaries and schedule, you won’t have to worry about the guilt of empty promises of “just give me 10 more minutes and we’ll play then…” Your family will appreciate the boundaries. They will learn to recognize when Mom is working and when she is available, rather than constantly interrupting because they’re competing for your attention.

3. Know When You Need childcare

Sure, I started my own business to have more time with my children, but there are times when you may have to put in more hours or attend a meeting and it simply wouldn’t be appropriate to bring your children along. If your children are not yet in school and you work from home, find a reliable form of childcare for the times it is needed, even if it means swapping playdates with a friend.

4. Get Out of Your House

This might be difficult for moms with small children, which is why I mentioned #3. I understand that one of the main reasons we choose to work from home is because we want more time with our children. But working from home can be a bit lonely. While a lot of connecting begins through social media, real relationships are still developed in person. Make attending local networking groups, trainings or events a part of your regular schedule. That’s where you can meet potential clients, colleagues and mentors to support you on your journey. I recently attended a LinkedIn class and not only did I meet great people, but I also chose an activity that would benefit me professionally.

5. Evaluate Your Activities and Priorities

I was a busy corporate mom before I started my own business and either way, when you add a new responsibility, you have to let go of something. No one is going to do this for you. You have to be the one to evaluate your current activities and obligations and decide where your time is best spent. I started by clearing out my DVR; I still like to binge-watch Fixer Upper every now and again, I love me some Chip and Joanna, but TV can be one of the biggest time wasters.

Be clear about your priorities in life and focus on them. Cut down on activities and obligations that don’t help with your priorities. (i.e. TV watching, magazine reading, social activities, mindless Internet surfing, etc.) Make every moment of your life count. Do only what helps you achieve your goals. Learn how to say no without guilt. I really wanted to serve on my daughter’s school’s parent teacher committee this past year but when I looked at the time and commitment, I realized I was still establishing myself as a business owner and balancing my time as a mother. I still contribute, just not by serving as a committee member.

6. Hold Family Meetings

Make sure your spouse understands your business, your goals and your priorities. My husband travels 50-70% of the time for work but he still likes to understand what I am working towards with regard not only to my schedule, but how our children will be cared for on my busy days, as well. We also involve our children at times. When I first started my business, our daughters understood that Mommy had to work really hard and a lot of hours so she could quit her job and be the one to take them to and from school. My husband and I explained that we needed their help, which included doing their chores without complaining, getting ready on time in the morning and understanding that Mommy would have to work late sometimes during what looked to be a very busy upcoming year. To increase their willingness to be helpful, we promised them Disneyland passes if they followed through. Let’s just say incentives work wonders with young children!

7. Get Your Rest

Remember when you had your first child and everyone said “Nap when the baby naps.” I hated hearing that! I used to think “but what about the laundry? I need a shower.” I soon realized an overly tired Mommy wasn’t good for my husband or the baby, so I napped. I am not saying to take naps, but if you are up working until midnight or 1:00 am to work on your business while the kids are sleeping – stop! Lack of sleep will catch up with you and won’t be good for anyone. Go back and read #2. It is possible to work while your kids are awake. Even powerhouse mompreneurs need their beauty rest!

8. Get and Keep Your Home Organized

An organized home will demand less time for upkeep, while a cluttered home will require constant work and suck your energy. Don’t even think of starting a home-based business or working from home until your house has been decluttered and organized and your household maintenance systems are in place. Set up daily, weekly, monthly, seasonal and yearly routines for house cleaning. For example, I throw in a load of laundry every morning, it goes in the dryer when kids come home from school and is folded and put away before we go to bed at night. I wipe down the bathrooms Monday morning and wash all the bedding on Thursdays; it doesn’t matter what you do or when, but create your system and stick to it.

9. Dress for Success

I know your PJs are comfy and one of the perks working from home should be that you don’t have to get dressed up BUT, you still have to get dressed, even to work from home. I’m not sitting here in my power suit and heels, but you do need to get out of your PJs and slippers. I wear something comfortable and casual that I can wear outside the house. I even put on my basic makeup. My rule of thumb is – be presentable enough to meet a potential client. If you’re physically ready for anything, your mind will be as well. Believe it or not, this will make you more productive.

10. Let Go

Let go of the idea that you can do it all. Maybe this should have been #1. You can’t clean the house, do all the laundry, run the errands, pay attention to your husband, answer 100 emails per week, plan and prepare dinner every night, print pictures to mail to grandma, volunteer at school, bake cookies for the church bake sale and grow your business…all by yourself. Get over being perfect. If you have the luxury of doing so – hire someone to clean the house. It’s okay if you have to buy the cookies. Ask your spouse to help out a little bit around the house. Feel “OK” if you can’t do it all – remember why you started – to have more time with your family; they won’t mind if the cookies are store-bought. When you are 86, what will you look back and treasure the most? You’ll either look back and love the time you had with your family or wish you had made more time for family. Live in the moment so you can look back and actually remember these moments.

Self-Care Working Mom

“I’m Just Too Busy!” – Self-Care Tips for Working Moms

Is “me time” a foreign concept to you?

It seems like at every turn, the responsibilities of being a working mom take up all your time. Obligations at home and at the kids’ schools and meetings, projects, and deadlines at work. Somewhere along the line, “me time” stopped being a priority. You’ve drifted away from your interests and passions—and essentially, yourself—without realizing that it’s even happening.

You’re not alone. Lots of moms—myself included—are in the same boat. But just because many moms experience this lack of “me time” doesn’t make it okay. As a mom, you are loving, giving, kind, and nurturing to your little ones, but why can’t you be like that with yourself also?

I’m a total supporter of moms making time to care for themselves, because all moms deserve it! Here are a few self-care tips for working moms that will go a long way for your own well-being.

Stop Feeling Guilty

Mommy guilt is real! We may want to take some time for ourselves, but we tend to feel bad about it. So instead we keep going, constantly self-sacrificing, and as a result, we’re forever exhausted. But the truth is, when your energy is depleted, everyone—your kids included—suffers.

So really, taking care of yourself is for everyone’s benefit, not just yours.

Wake Up Earlier

Sleep is a precious thing, even more so when you’re a working mom. You have a tight schedule that probably already leaves you minimal time to sleep—and even that can get interrupted (those middle-of-the-night wake-up calls from a screaming kid, for example).

Despite all this, I suggest waking up earlier than usual—just setting your alarm for 15 minutes earlier each morning will do. It’s the time of day when everyone else is still asleep and you have some much needed quiet moments to yourself.

Use this time to drink a fresh cup of hot coffee or tea in peace (instead of the forgotten cup of lukewarm caffeine you usually end up chugging as you rush out the door). Read a book, write in your journal, exercise, stay in bed and take deep breaths… whatever it is that will keep you in touch with yourself, do it! The house is probably at its quietest in the morning, which is why it’s the best opportunity to squeeze in some “me time.” Resist all urges to do the laundry!

Pay Attention to Other Relationships

On top of being a mom, you are a myriad of other things: a friend, daughter, wife, sister, cousin. Kill two birds with one stone and go out for breakfast or lunch with some of the other people in your life—without the kids. You have to eat, don’t you?!

Although being a mom is a beautiful and amazing thing, there is more to you. Spending time on the other relationships in your life could be that breath of fresh air you need to feel rejuvenated and ready to take on your hectic schedule. And it’s a nice break from all the baby talk at home!

Ask for and Accept Help

Self-care sometimes includes learning to accept help. Letting go of control can be difficult, but despite your Super Mom qualities, you are only human and accepting help doesn’t make you a bad mom.

If your spouse or partner can take care of something, let them. If your mother-in-law offers to come babysit once a week, say yes. You don’t have to do everything all the time. Take a shower, go for a walk. Let someone else handle things for a bit. It takes a village, after all.

Take Time to Focus on Your Goals

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and forget about your goals. This might leave you feeling unfulfilled. Make time everyday or every week to work towards your goals.

For example, if you want to find a way to earn a supplemental income, take the time to research your options to achieve that goal. Working towards your goals will give you confidence and motivation—plus it has the added benefit of allowing you to escape from your everyday routine.

Self-Care Tips for Working Moms: Make Yourself a Priority

Every working mom gets 24 hours in a day, but how is it that some are able to fit in that trip to the gym and you’re not? It’s about making yourself a priority. When you give and give—to your family and your career—without taking time out for yourself, your bucket becomes empty. And a mom with an empty bucket isn’t much help to herself or her family!

Cleaning Life Hack Working Mom

3 Simple Kitchen Time-Savers for Busy Moms

When I was younger, I remember my mom getting me to help with household chores by saying, “the maid’s off today!” (Hint: We never had a maid!). Now that I’m in charge of my own household (re: cooking, cleaning, and seemingly everything else), I can definitely relate to this sentiment! Sometimes, it really does feel like the “mom” hat is interchangeable with the “maid,” “chef,” “chauffeur,” and so on.

This is especially true when it comes to our kitchens. Even those of us with helpful spouses or little ones know that having them prepare a meal for you often comes with hours of cleaning up afterwards.

As working moms, we’ve already got a lot on our plates. That’s why I’ve put together these time-saving life hacks to keep your kitchen clean, the dishes done, and the family healthily fed without leaving you feeling like hired help.

Tip 1: Start Small

Especially if you feel like your kitchen has gotten a bit out of control (i.e., you’re not actually sure if there is a counter under all that paperwork anymore), try to start with a small cleaning project that you attend to regularly. This doesn’t need to be something big—you may even start with a task that only takes five minutes but has a huge impact, like checking for expired food in the refrigerator once a week.

The main point is to focus on cleaning up this one area regularly rather than spending hours on an overwhelming deep clean of the entire room.

Some suggestions include:
Clean the counters with a washcloth or Lysol wipe every evening before going to bed
Sweep the kitchen once a week
Wipe down the refrigerator once a week
Clean out your fridge once a week
Close all cabinet doors and drawers every morning
Wipe down the microwave at least once a week

Once you have one area down, start adding on new tasks, and you’ll be able to see those kitchen counters again in no time. You may even get the kids involved with these age-appropriate chores.

Tip 2: Make Lunch Packing Easy

While all of us end up deferring to school lunches every once in a while, it can be hard to swallow their higher costs and relative unhealthiness. We know intuitively that it makes more sense to pack lunches for our kids, but it’s sometimes difficult finding the time on busy mornings to get even a sandwich made.

That’s why I’ve started automating my lunch making. After cleaning my fridge once a week (Tip 1, check!), I decided to put together a school lunch “section” of my refrigerator. Each Sunday evening before the rush of Monday comes, I make some sandwiches, salads, soup, and other main course items to last my kids for the entire week. I put them in plastic containers with a little note to “take one.”

I then put some fruit and veggies, pre-cut and ready to eat, in a bin next to them with the note “take as many as you’d like” (after all, I can always cut more!). Similarly, juices or milks, desserts, and chips (in the cupboard) also get a “take one” note because kids can be sneaky.

This system allows my kids a sense of independence—they get to actually choose which food items they take each day, within reason. It also means that I have these ten minutes back each morning to do check the news and drink a cup of coffee. #coffeesolveseverything

You may also find that using a larger tub labelled “snacks” and filling it with healthy foods allows your kids to help themselves when they get nibbly—and saves you the whining when they can’t find something to snack on.

Tip 3: Turn Chore Time into “Me” Time

We all have those chores that we just hate doing. For me, it’s the dishes—for some reason, I absolutely loathe this task! But still, my family always seems to manage to leave the dishes in the sink without me catching them. I used to be a little bitter about always having to wash everyone’s dishes until I realized that there was no rule that said I couldn’t do something fun at the same time.

So I started listening to podcasts and some of my favorite music when doing dishes. All of a sudden, I was able to catch up on the news and stay up-to-date on my friend’s podcast while still getting credit for keeping my kitchen clean. Over time, I’ve really come to love this practice—now I actually look forward to it!

Hack Your Kitchen

While you’ll still have the occasional big mess or mid-week meal to cook, these tips will allow you to spend your average day doing fewer chores and spending less time cleaning. Plus, you’ll likely come to enjoy the time you do spend on these tasks by listening to music, catching up on the news, or tuning into your top podcasts.

Turn chore time into “me” time and recruit your children (and spouse) as clean-up helpers. You may even end up having some actual down time on your hands!