The Sports Shuffle
TWO boys…..10 teams? WHAT?
11 year old: LAX Rec League, LAX Travel, Spring Football Passing League, Pop Warner, School Basketball.
13 year old: Travel Baseball, Juniors Baseball, School Basketball, Competitive Basketball, Golf.
I worked a successful career in a glamourous media business and now I’m a glorified UBER driver. The worst part is I drive in silence because the minute they get in the car the iPhones go on, earphones in and heads go down.
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???
I hit a wall a couple of weeks ago. My husband was on day 14 of a 16 day business trip. My boys were at each other’s throats – for real. They are best buds 99% of the time but that 1% is going to kill me. A full on long holiday weekend of bickering and fist fighting came to a screeching halt when the fist fight was now in my car while driving down the 5 Freeway. I LOST IT. The screaming, and yelling began and I was a crazy person. “After everything I do for you kids. I drive you from sport to sport, take you to the beach, buy you this, buy you that – and this is the thanks I get.” Something to that effect. Throw in a few 4 letter words and it might be more accurate. So right about now the iPhone on, ear phones in and heads down is sounding pretty good right?
The bickering continued until late Sunday night after me yelling more about getting homework done – I reflected on the weekend and broke down. This is not who I want to be. I left that crazy mom behind when I decided to leave my corporate job for one with more flexibility and balance. I texted my friend and business partner who has three awesome boys (high school and college age) who are so respectful to their mom and to each other – I said – please tell me your boys do this too – or used to. She gave me some great advice. At the moment I can’t remember exactly what she said – but she gave me hope. I had retreated to my bedroom and was reading in silence when both boys came in to see where I was and they said – mom are you crying? While this was NOT the advice that my friend gave me – it WORKED. The boys have never seen me cry other than at a funeral and it spooked them.
Thirty minutes later, my 11 year old handed me this…. A letter with some flowers picked from outside.
We are so sorry for our behavior this weekend. It was not fair to you. We feel really terrible that we ruined your weekend. It’s not the way you deserve to be treated. We will try harder to get along. We can’t promise it will never happen again, but we can promise we will try harder. We love you and thank you for everything that you do for us. Thank you.”
At that moment, I was ready to put on my UBER driver cap and start the shuffle again tomorrow. It’s a new day, we only have two games and a practice and it’s going to be a good one. I choose to come home to my family – and I’m so glad I did. Just breathe.
How do you cope with days like this?